Magical Ambition
by Yewchung
Summary: Everybody's favorite muggle tricks his way into Hogwarts, with his eyes set on World Domination. Now if only all these meddling "light" and "dark" wizards would get out of his way. AU starring an ambitious (but still muggle) Dudley. Also featuring Dark!Lucius and Light!Dumbledore.
1. A Magical Trip to Diagon Alley

**Chapter 1: A Magical Trip to Diagon Alley**

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, though if I did, I'd probably lease him out to the highest bidder.

* * *

The first time Dudley learned about the magical world was from reading his mother's diary. At the young age of seven, he had snuck into his mother's bedroom and retrieved the book which she almost always kept hidden. Reading the diary, he learned of a magical world that existed, hidden behind the mundane one that he inhabited.

Dudley's aunt (who he had been told had died in a car crash) was apparently a witch, and though his mother's writing had tinted the entire account in a tone of disgust, Dudley knew right then and there that he _had_ to be a wizard, no matter what it took. He wasn't going to be just any wizard either. He had to be the most powerful wizard to have ever lived.

You see, ever since he had been young, Dudley knew he was destined for greatness. He knew that someday he would rule the world. He wasn't really interested in enslaving people or killing them or anything, he just wanted to own everything. He would deal with everything else afterwards, once he had an entire cabinet of people to manage the world for him.

In the more immediate moment though, Dudley began to pay more attention to his cousin, Harry. The bespectacled boy was allegedly a wizard. This certainly explained the many odd things that happened around Harry, such as the way his hair always grew back overnight no matter how much you cut it, or the way that he would somehow disappear from dead ends when he was being chased. Dudley soon began sneaking downstairs and cutting off large amounts of Harry's hair to examine (which turned out to be, regretfully, just normal hair), and since Harry's hair always grew back by morning, nobody was any the wiser.

Dudley's second exposure to the magical world came when he was nine. His obsession with magic had grown to the point where his parents had actually sent him to Mrs. Figg's house, with Harry, while they were out having a "nice dinner". While Mrs. Figg was busy showing Harry her cat pictures again, Dudley had explored the old dusty house, and had soon stumbled upon a collection of letters and books hidden in a dusty cabinet. He had quickly noticed words like "Wizard", "Magic", and "Spells" on the books and letters, so he had simply stuffed them all into his bookbag to look at later.

The books, as it turns out, consisted of several volumes on Wizarding history and culture, and few books on basic household potion brewing (although the potions all seemed to require such ingredients as "powdered dragon scales" or "flobberworm mucus"). The letters turned out to be a correspondence between Mrs. Figg and a man named "Mr. Dumbledore". Every letter appeared to be detailing Harry's status and welfare, though based on Dudley's firsthand experience, it seemed that Mrs. Figg was leaving out an awful lot.

After studying these letters and books, Dudley was able to put together a fairly good picture of what the wizarding world was like. Now he only had to wait for the inevitable letter from Hogwarts that would arrive when Harry turned eleven.

In the weeks leading up to Harry's birthday, Dudley spent a great deal of time building up an assortment of items that could reasonably pretend to be magic (such as a few trick cups, some ribbons hidden in false fingers, and a couple sparklers down his sleeves), most of which he bought with money from selling his birthday presents. He had even extracted some of Harry's blood (once again while they boy was sleeping) and put it in a tiny flesh-colored bag on the end of his index finger, in case magic was determined through some sort of blood test.

What Dudley could never be prepared for was the hectic few days of constantly moving around after his father had first seen that letter. Even more so, Dudley could not possibly have been prepared for the literal giant who had knocked down the door to their shack. Dudley could only stand there in a mixture of fear and wonder as the man had squeezed himself through the doorway.

"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey..."

The giant man made for the couch, and Dudley quickly and respectfully moved out of the way. Soon, the giant and Harry were having a bit of a talk, eventually culminating in Hagrid calmly informing Harry that he was a wizard.

Soon after that things started to go bad, and his parents started threatening Hagrid. This was when Dudley decided to make his move. _It's now or never_, he affirmed as he stepped forwards.

His father was currently raving on about magic. "We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish."

"Stop it, Dad." Dudley said, his voice steely. All eyes in the room turned to him as he faced down his father. "I can't believe that you knew about something like this and still treated Harry this way." Dudley turned away from his father, a look of disgust on his face, and strode over to where Harry and Hagrid sat. "Excuse me, mister Hagrid sir. Could I ask how you check for wizardry? I've been having all these weird things happen to me recently, and I'd like at least to check."

The giant seemed taken aback. "Er, well I guess I know the magic identifyin' spell…" Hagrid started rummaging through his robes, and soon pulled out a slightly greasy white business card. "Jus put a drop a blood on 'ere," he said, pointing to the card.

Dudley nodded nervously. He was glad that he had prepared the blood, though he was a bit disappointed that he never got to use the sparklers that he still had hidden in his sleeves. Dudley carefully pricked the blood bag on his finger with a needle and squeezed out a drop of Harry's blood onto the card. Hagrid then pointed his umbrella at the blood drop and muttered something under his breath. The blood immediately started to bubble, and soon turned green.

Hagrid looked at the now green blood on the card, then to the slightly pudgy boy in front of him. "I don' believe it," he finally said. "Looks like yer a wizard as well."

There were immediately several shouts around the room, from Vernon's cry of betrayal and shock at Dudley being revealed to be a wizard, to Harry's cry of sadness for the very same reason. Petunia hadn't said anything, but simply stood there in shock, mouthing the word "wizard" over and over again. It took over an hour and a couple stunning spells, courtesy of Hagrid, for them to calm down. Eventually the two elder Dursleys had been locked into their room, and Harry, Dudley and Hagrid in the living room, sitting around the fire.

Hagrid had told them about Harry's parents' deaths, and about Voldemort. Dudley had stayed mostly quiet throughout the whole story, but once he had heard about Voldemort, Dudley realised that he was a man who also had great ambition, but had gone about trying to reach his goal in the worst way imaginable. Dudley decided that when he took over the world, it would be through making allies, not enemies. Eventually, after Hagrid had sent off an owl to confirm that Harry had gotten his letter, and to report the discovery of another wizard in the household, the three of them went to sleep.

* * *

Dudley woke up to the sound of tapping. Grumpily, he sat up and saw an owl outside the window, trying to get in. He untangled himself from his bedsheets and opened the window, yawning as the bird thrust a paper-bound leg at him.

"Ye gotta pay him five Knuts." Dudley turned as he heard the slightly hoarse voice from the couch. "Here." The giant carefully fished a few coins out of his coat pockets and tossed them to Dudley.

Dudley looked at the coins. "Are these coins… solid copper?"

"Aye," said Hagrid, still waking up. "An' Sickles are silver, an' Galleons gold."

Dudley stared at the coins in shock. "You use solid gold coins as currency?" he exclaimed. He shook his head. There had been a few mentions of "golden Galleons" in the books, but he hadn't expected them to be solid gold!

Looking down at the copper coins in his hand Dudley reasoned that copper, at least, wasn't all that bad. He took the newspaper from the owl and placed the Knuts in the bird's money pouch, then tossed the newspaper to Hagrid.

Soon Harry woke up as well, and the three of them all left the island via Vernon's boat. Harry and Dudley sat on opposite sides of the boat, still not entirely comfortable with each other's presence. Hagrid only sighed, chalking this up to yet another case of sibling rivalry.

Dudley was the first to speak up. "So, this Diagon Alley place. How has a place that big been kept hidden for so long?"

"Well, the whole place 's surrounded with all kinds a muggle deterrents, an' the only place anyone can get in er out es through a magically locked door. Fer the most part muggles could only find it if they already knew it was there."

Dudley nodded, then moved on to more questions about the workings of the wizarding world. He asked about everything from how they trained their owls to deliver the post like that to how their pictures moved, although a great majority of his questions were simply answered "Magic". Harry was strangely quiet throughout all this, though he still asked a few questions.

Soon enough the triad arrived at the Leaky Cauldron. Almost as soon as they had entered, people started clamoring around Harry, trying to shake his hand. Hagrid soon shooed them off, and the three made their way through the pub to the back wall. As the group stepped through the magical archway, Dudley and Harry both gasped at the amazing sights before them.

Crowds of people roamed about in multicolor robes. As Harry and Dudley walked down the street they saw signs advertising absolutely everything they could imagine.

"Try the New Every-Flavor Ice Cream from Bertie Botts!" read one sign. "Need Space? Don't worry! New and improved Mokeskin pouches will hold everything you need!" read another.

"Yeh two'll be needin' some school supplies," Hagrid said. "But we gotta get yer money first. For that, we'll be headin' to the best wizarding bank there is. Gringotts."

The three walked to the grand marble building at the end of Diagon Alley. Once through the doors, Dudley began thinking. He would need money if he wanted to get anything, but his parents weren't likely to give him anything after he'd been marked a wizard. "Say, Hagrid. My parents have pretty much disowned me at this point, so how am I going to be able to buy anything?"

Harry, on Hagrid's other side, also had concerns. "Yeah Hagrid. I don't have any money either."

Hagrid chuckled. "Yeh don't think your parents left you with nothin' do ya Harry? As for yeh, Dudley, I suppose yeh'll have to borrow some o' Harry's money. That fine with yeh, Harry?"

Harry nodded a bit timidly. Dudley resolved that once he'd gained some power, he would pay back everything to Harry at least double. It was the least he could do, seeing as it was because of Harry that he was able to trick his way into this world.

The trio reached the front desk, where a strange creature that Hagrid had called a goblin sat. "Morning." Hagrid said. "We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Harry Potter's safe." Hagrid rummaged around in his coat for a bit before placing a tiny golden key and a letter on the counter. "I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore. It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen."

The goblin looked over the key and read the letter, then handed them back to Hagrid. "These both seem to be in order. I'll have someone take you down to the vaults immediately. Griphook!"

A goblin who was presumably Griphook arrived in the lobby and took them through a side door. They found themselves in a stone passage with rails along the floor, and a cart sitting on it. Griphook directed the three of them into the cart, and soon they were off.

After a blurred few minutes of speed, turns, and almost falling out of the cart at least thrice, they finally arrived at a vault door, which Griphook immediately moved to unlock while the three other passengers were still trying not to throw up.

Dudley recovered instantly the second he saw the massive piles of copper, silver, and gold coins stacked up in the vault. His eyes widened as he took in the massive piles of wealth within.

"The gold ones are Galleons," Hagrid explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough." Dudley wasn't really one for math, but even he knew that heaps and heaps of pure gold coins was a lot of money.

Hagrid took out a couple of fairly small bags, and helped Dudley and Harry shovel only a disappointing hundred Galleons into each bag. As they turned to leave, Dudley hung back a bit, making a big deal out of inspecting one Galleon while he snatched an additional hundred or so Galleons and hid them in his jacket pockets.

"Come on now, boy," called the goblin from the entrance. "I've got to close these doors now, and we only check these vaults for stragglers every ten years." The goblin chuckled as Dudley immediately ran to the door, seeing as he had no intention of being trapped here for ten years.

Dudley was very careful not to let the Galleons in his pockets clatter as they rode the minecart once again, though he they end up doing so several times during the ride. Luckily, Harry was too busy looking around, and Hagrid too busy trying not to throw up, that neither noticed. Soon enough they arrived at another much grander looking vault, and Hagrid struggled to his feet as the goblin walked up to the door.

The goblin began to stroke the door, and Dudley wondered what could be the "You-Know-What" that was in the vault. Maybe it held the most powerful wand ever, or a ring that could do anything. Dudley tried to look past Hagrid, but saw only a small object bound in paper._ Whatever that is, it must be really valuable to be in a vault like this,_ thought Dudley.

They were soon above ground once again, now with heavier pockets (though some more than others), ready to get their school supplies. "Might as get yer uniforms," said Hagrid, nodding towards a shop with the words "Madam Malkins'" above the door. "Would yeh two mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts."

Dudley and Harry both agreed, and so they entered the clothes shop alone. As they entered, they saw another boy with pale blonde hair being fitted in the back.

"Hogwarts, dears?" asked a squat witch with the name "Madam Malkin" attached to the front of her robes. "Got the lot here. You'll just have to wait a moment." She put Harry and Dudley onto two stools near the other boy, then began fitting their robes.

"Hello," said the boy. "You going to Hogwarts too?"

Dudley, noticing the boy's expensive haircut, his highly polished shoes, and the gold lining on his robes, decided that this was an important boy to become friends with.

"Why yes I am, old sport," Dudley said, deciding to use a style of speech that he vaugely remembered from some movie about rich people. He gave the boy a smile that he knew to be both reassuring and confident. "Though I'm afraid I don't know much about Hogwarts. Could you perhaps help me out?"

The boy looked a bit surprised by his sophistication of speech, and quickly smiled back. "I do believe I can," he said. "For starters, there are four houses. There's Gryffindor for foolhardy idiots, Hufflepuff for weak doormats, Ravenclaw for know-it-all nerds, and Slytherin for people with actual ambitions and futures. My whole family's been in Slytherin, and we're one of the most powerful families in Britain."

Dudley nodded at this. Slytherin seemed like exactly the place he wanted to be. "Well, it certainly does sound like quite a good house, old sport," he said. "though I can't see Harry here being a Slytherin." Ignoring the shout of protest behind him, he continued. "Hufflepuff maybe, but certainly not Slytherin."

The kid grinned at this, and turned moved his hand forwards to shake. "You know, you're a pretty cool guy," he said. "The name's Draco Malfoy."

"Dudley Dursley." Dudley replied, shaking Draco's hand. "I'm glad I met you here, old sport."

Draco nodded, then turned to get his finished robes from the second fitting witch. "I suppose I'll see you at Hogwarts then," he said.

"I suppose I shall, old sport."

With that, the boy waved and left the shop, robes in hand. Dudley turned back, and soon Madam Malkin returned with two more sets of robes. "Here you are, dearies," she said as Harry and Dudley took their respective robes and left the shop. Harry still looked a bit dejected from Dudley's insult.

"You know, Slytherin doesn't sound like a good place at all if people like that guy are in it," said Harry grumpily.

"You're just jealous because I already have a wizard friend," said Dudley.

Harry gave a harrumph, and the two fell into silence, waiting for Hagrid's return. Dudley then realised that he would actually need to do some parts of his shopping alone, and that he would probably want to buy some extra stuff anyways.

"Say, Harry. I'm thinking of going and buying some of this stuff myself. Could you let Hagrid know? I'll meet you guys back here in an hour." Harry frowned, but still nodded, so Dudley immediately headed to the place near the entrance where they were advertising Mokeskin pouches.

He bought a medium-sized pouch for twenty Galleons and immediately put his robes and the rest of his money into it. He then headed for the wand shop, knowing that it would likely be the part of this trip that would be the hardest to bluff his way through. He rushed through the door of Ollivander's, startling the old man standing inside.

"Oh, hello there young man," the man (presumably Ollivander) said. "Are you here for a wand?"

Dudley looked around the shop, noticing the massive wall of wands behind the man. "Just give me any wand," he said, putting seven Galleons on the counter.

"Alright then, don't rush me." The man looked at him for a few seconds, then pulled a wand from the wall. "Try this one. Apple and dragon heartstring. Ten inches. Slightly ben-" He had held it out for Dudley to take, and Dudley immediately snatched it and stuffed it into his Mokeskin pouch.

"I'll take it," he declared as he spun and left the shop, ignoring the cries of protest from behind him about how a wand chooses the wizard, not the other way around.

Back on the street, he decided to pick up some potions supplies next. The books on potions he'd been reading had seemed to indicate that even people without magic could brew them, given the right materials, so he decided that potions would be a good field to focus on. He stopped by the cauldron shop to buy a standard pewter cauldron for class, and a compact mini-cauldron and lid in case he wanted to brew a potion that took a while to make. Both went into his mokeskin pouch (that thing was already proving worth all twenty galleons), and then off to the apothecary he went.

Dudley bought a surplus amount of potion ingredient on his list, and quite a few not on it as well. Satisfied that he had enough potion supplies to make as many potions as he could ever need, He then purchased up his telescope and scales on his way to the bookstore, Flourish and Blotts.

He picked up all the books he was required to buy, and got quite a few of the higher-level potion brewing textbooks as well. He bumped into Harry and Hagrid at the checkout counter as they were buying their own books.

Hagrid smiled as he saw the boy. "Looks like ye've got quite a stack o' books there," he commented, noticing how much higher Dudley's book stack was than Harry's. Harry only glared at him sullenly, as if he thought Dudley had taken more books just to show him up.

They paid for the books, which Dudley stuffed into his pouch. "Ah, got a Mokeskin pouch did yeh? Hide anythin' in there an' no one but the owner can get it out," he pointed out a bit redundantly, given that Dudley already knew how to use it. "They're rare, them."

The three of them stepped back out of the store, and Hagrid checked his copy of the list. "Just yer wand left, Harry," he said. "Ah yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present."

Dudley saw Harry go red at that. "You don't have to," Harry said.

"I know I don't have to," said Hagrid, a bit more forcefully than necessary. "Tell yeh what, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at - an' I don' like cats, they make me sneeze. I'll get yer an owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an' everythin'."

The three of them entered a Eeylops Owl Emporium, where Dudley considered getting an owl as well. After all, they carried mail, which seemed to be the wizarding world's primary form of communication. Once inside, Harry gasped and moved almost immediately to a snowy white owl that stood out amongst the brown feathers of most of the rest of the store. Dudley took a bit longer to choose an owl, but eventually chose a large and noble looking one, with brown-black feathers and fierce looking eyes. The store clerk said that Harry's owl was a Snowy Owl, and that Dudley's was a Eurasian Eagle-Owl. Dudley decided to call his owl "Falcon", not because he was unable to distinguish different types of birds, but because he had always thought it a good name for a pet.

They left the shop and headed for Ollivanders while Harry thanked Hagrid profusely. Dudley simply tuned them out as he walked alongside them, flipping through his First-Year Potions textbook. It wasn't until he heard the jingling of the bell that he noticed that he had followed Harry and Hagrid back into Ollivanders.

"Good afterno- YOU!" the old man exclaimed as he noticed Dudley standing near the door. "What are you doing back here? Haven't you done enough by just grabbing the wand like that? How will we even know if the wand chose you?" The man seemed almost furious at Dudley.

Dudley's mind raced as he tried to stall for time. "Er, sorry. I was in a bit of a rush at the time, and I needed to get the wand and go." _What do I do what do I do!_ Dudley was going into a panic.

"Oh, well you still can't just take a wand that isn't right for you," said Mr. Ollivander. "Why don't you take the wand out and we'll see if it sparks?"

_That's it!_ Dudley realised._ I'm pretty sure can pull this off._ He reached his hand slowly and deliberately towards his mokeskin bag, carefully angling his hand in such a way that nobody in the shop could see his palm. He then muttered "wand" while he carefully maneuvered one of the sparklers in his sleeve into his palm, hiding flush against the wand. As he raised up the wand, he carefully flicked the tip of the sparkler, igniting it and letting the sparks loose.

To those watching him, it looked as though he simply lowered his arm to the bag, got his wand, and raised it while it sparkled.

Harry stared in shock. Up until then he had hoped that this was all some mistake, that maybe Hagrid's spell had gotten it wrong, but now that Dudley had successfully used his wand, there was no question.

Mr. Ollivander looked at Dudley quizzically, then sighed. "Well, it's not often that I get it right on the first try, but I suppose that wand is the right wand for you."

Dudley was too nervous to answer, so he simply nodded, slipping the wand and sparkler into his mokeskin pouch and hoping that the sparkler wouldn't set his books on fire.

After that, Harry had a vaguely eventful wand selection where they learned that Harry's wand was a twin to Voldemort's. As soon as they left the store, Dudley ducked into a side-alley and pulled the sparkler out of his pouch, then checked to make sure that his textbooks were alright (they were).

When he rejoined Harry and Hagrid, they seemed as though they were finishing up some discussion that didn't involve him. "Right well, here's yer tickets fer Hogwarts," he said, handing them a pair of tickets with the number "9 and ¾" written on it. "First o' September at King's Cross, it's all on yet tickets." By this time they were already leaving Diagon Alley again, and passing through the Leaky Cauldron.

The three passed in relative silence through most of muggle London, the locations formerly interesting or notable now paled in comparison to the sights and sounds of Diagon Alley. Harry and Dudley were soon standing on a train that would take them back to Little Whinging. Dudley was vaguely wondering in the back of his head how his parents had gotten off of that island, while Harry waved to Hagrid as their train took them back home.

* * *

A/N: Alright, so this story features Dudley doing things.

Within this story, I'm going to assume that potions can be brewed by muggles, otherwise Dudley will never get anything done.

Other than that, feel free to comment, review, give constructive criticism, or suggest alternate names for Dudley's owl.

Thanks for reading!


	2. A Muggle in the Wizard's Court

**Chapter 2: A Muggle in the Wizard's Court**

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did I'd dress him up like a monkey and make him dance for tips.

* * *

Almost a month had passed since that fateful visit to Diagon Alley, and Dudley was feeling happier than he'd been in a long time. He had magic and could make potions, and his parents were avoiding him like the plague, which gave Dudley more freedom than he'd had in years.

Almost as soon as he'd gotten back, Dudley had flipped through his potion textbooks, looking for some potions that seemed useful and fairly easy to make. One that he'd been quite interested in was the "Strengthening Solution" that appeared in the 5th year textbook. The description stated that "_This potion will cause an overall growth and strengthening of the muscles_", which was exactly what Dudley wanted. If he couldn't beat these wizards with magic, he may as well do so with his muscles.

For his second cauldron, Dudley also found several other interesting potions, such as the "Liquid Luck" potion and the "Fire Spirit" potion, but based on the descriptions they seemed much too difficult to brew, and much too disastrous if he made a mistake. Eventually, he settled for simply brewing a bunch of potions to heal minor injuries and illnesses and bottling them.

He and Harry still weren't on very good relations, but the two of them at least interacted more. The two of them discussed some interesting things that they found in their textbooks, and Dudley eventually managed to convince Harry to try a bit of amateur potion brewing as well, though Harry's potions seemed to more often fail than succeed. In turn, Harry talked about whatever magical creature he was reading about at the time, and he occasionally talked about spells as well, though Dudley was always quick to escape those discussions.

Their owls seemed to get along quite well, and as a result Harry and Dudley would occasionally have "Owl-offs", where they had their owls compete in all sorts of events, from simple races to obstacle courses. Falcon usually won the straight races, and Hedwig (Harry's owl) usually won the more bendy ones.

In the month before school started, Dudley brewed and consumed a strength potion every week, causing him to bulk up slightly, though not really a noticeable amount yet. Harry had eventually managed to successfully brew a vial of Sleeping Draught, which the two of them used to spike the elder Dursleys' food, just for fun.

Over the course of the month, Dudley put a few objects into his Mokeskin pouch, such as a game device, a few games, a hand crank torch, a miniature radio, and several packages of sweets.

Almost too soon, September first drew near, and Dudley and Harry had to ask for a ride to King's Cross from Mr. Dursley. The next day the two arrived at the walkway between Platforms 9 and 10, the older Dursley having left the moment they were out of the car. The two boys, one with a large trunk and cage, the other with just a cage and a pouch, looked around to see if they could find any sign of this strangely numbered platform.

"Now, what's the platform number again?" said a motherly voice from somewhere to their left.

The two would have discounted this, had the very next statement, in a much higher voice, not been "Nine and three-quarters! Mom, can't I go…"

The two immediately turned to see a plump woman standing with a herd of bright red-haired boys, and one girl.

"You're not old enough, Ginny, now be quiet. All right Percy, you go first."

Harry and Dudley stared as the oldest of the boys turned and walked straight towards a brick wall between platforms nine and ten, then promptly vanished.

Blinking in surprise, Harry decided to head for the group, hoping to find out what was going on, while Dudley stayed and watched as the next two boys repeated the same action.

Dudley was fairly confident now that he had figured out what was going on, so when Harry and the final boy started running towards the wall, he followed. As he was about to hit the wall, he suddenly had the horrible thought that maybe this barrier blocked muggles out, and so he'd smash right into the wall, make a fool of himself, and be revealed as a muggle all at once. By the time he realised this, though, it was already too late.

Dudley closed his eyes and braced for the impact, but when he felt none, he cautiously opened his eyes, and found himself standing beside a grand scarlet train, with a sign reading "Platform Nine and Three-Quarters" hanging above his head. He spotted Harry already boarding the train, and so he moved on himself, thanking his lack of a trunk.

Once on board, Dudley started moving down the train, looking for an available compartment. Most of the compartments he passed by were full, until eventually he came to a compartment that contained the Draco kid from the robes shop, along with two large muscled looking guys and a black-haired girl.

Dudley pulled open the door and stuck his head inside. "Oh, hello there Draco! Fancy seeing you here, old sport," he said.

Draco smiled as he noticed Dudley. "Well speak of the devil. This is the guy I was telling you about, Pansy."

Dudley pushed the compartment door open a bit more and extended one arm to shake in Pansy's direction. "Delighted to meet you, Pansy. My name is Dudley."

"I assure you, the pleasure is all mine," said Pansy, shaking his hand. "Come in, why don't you sit with us?"

Dudley grinned, moving into the compartment and placing his owl onto the luggage rack. "Why thank you, I would be honored to ride with you." He turned back to the smiling Malfoy, and then noticed the two boys flanking him. "I don't believe we've been introduced," he said, extending a hand once again.

"That's Crabbe," cut in Draco, "and this is Goyle. They're pretty much my bodyguards."

"Very nice," Dudley said. "I've always wanted bodyguards."

"So Dudley, I hear you're going to be in Slytherin with us," said Pansy.

"That I am," said Dudley. "However, as I told Draco here, I really don't know much about Hogwarts. Is there anything you could tell me?"

"Well," Pansy began, "the Head of Slytherin is Professor Snape, who is also the school's Potion Master."

"He's also my godfather," said Draco.

"Ah," said Dudley. "Well then, may I ask who this "Dumbledore" fellow I keep hearing about is?"

At the name, Draco scowled. "Dumbledore's the Headmaster of Hogwarts, but he's also got a whole bunch of other important titles as well. Father says that he's pretty sure Dumbledore is trying to take over the world, or at least Wizarding Britain, and that he's the only one standing between Dumbledore and total conquest."

"Hmm." Dudley considered this. If this Dumbledore fellow was already trying to take over, then he would have to be either a potential ally, or an obstacle, depending upon a few factors. "So Draco, what does your father do?"

"He's the head of the Malfoy House," responded Draco, "which comes with all that entails. For the most part, that means that he's a politician, a juror, a business manager, and the head of the School Board, all at once."

Dudley nodded. He was glad that he had thought to befriend Draco before. "Well Draco, your father sounds like a wonderful man. Could you introduce me to him someday, old sport?"

Draco happily nodded in the affirmative. The three of them spent the rest of the ride continuing to discuss Hogwarts and more. Dudley learned about the wizarding sport of Quidditch ("what do you mean you've never heard of Quidditch before?"), and then Dudley learned some more about Strengthening potions from, of all people, Goyle, who suggested adding a couple extra pinches of Dragon Claw to make it more potent.

When the candy cart came along, Dudley decided to try out some candies, though Draco advised him against getting the Chocolate Frogs ("They fill those cards with Griffindor-centric propaganda is why"). He was pleasantly surprised when his first jelly bean tasted like roast beef, and somewhat less pleasantly surprised when his second tasted like brussels sprouts.

The three of them had compared their owls as well. Draco's owl, which he called Abraxas ("after my grandfather"), was deemed the best groomed, Falcon was the largest, and Pansy's owl, Ventus ("one of my ancestors who became Minister of Magic"), was the best at performing tricks, even in the small space of the compartment. They soon moved out into the larger space of the hallway for the owl races, which was where they bumped into a girl with bushy brown hair who was asking about a toad.

"Oh hello there," she said. "Have any of you seen a toad? Neville's lost his."

Draco seemed to turn up his nose at this. "Why should we be bothered with looking for Longbottom's toad? For all we know, somebody's owl might have eaten it." He chuckled a bit darkly.

Dudley saw the expression of desperation on the girl's face, and decided to take pity on her a bit. "I'm sorry, miss, but we haven't seen any toads. I'd personally suggest looking somewhere dark and damp, toads like places like that."

Though she still looked sad, she seemed to regain a bit of hope at that. "I- I'll keep that in mind, thanks." She then moved past them, continuing down the train in her search.

Draco looked at Dudley a bit oddly. "What did you do that for, Dudley? You didn't need to help her."

"Well, Draco," Dudley said, "you won't get anywhere if you make enemies out of everyone you meet. In my experience, the best way to make sure that anybody who's important likes you is to make sure that everybody likes you, or at least doesn't dislike you."

"Hmm," Draco considered that. "You know, I've never thought about it that way. I mean, I'm not going to go around befriending a bunch of muggles (here Dudley winced slightly), but I suppose that among wizards at least, you can't really know who's a pureblood or not at this point."

Dudley frowned a bit. That wasn't really what he had been trying to say, but he supposed that it was at least something.

After finishing their owl races (Draco and Dudley's owls had tied for first), the group moved back into their cabin and started preparing to arrive at Hogwarts.

When the train pulled into the station, Dudley heard a familiar voice. "Firs' years! Firs' years over here!" He spotted Hagrid standing near a whole bunch of other first years.

Once they had all assembled, Hagrid led the group down a narrow path, and to the edge of a wide, dark lake. Beyond it, Dudley saw the lights and towers of a massive castle sitting atop a cliff that jutted out over the water. Hogwarts.

"Whoah," he gasped as he took in the sight. He had seen some pictures of the castle in his books, but none of them could possibly convey the presence, the sense of wonder, the promise of excitement and opportunities that the actual building showed.

"No more'n four to a boat!" called Hagrid, breaking Dudley from his reverie. He spotted a bunch of small boats laying on the shore of the lake, and made his way towards them.

Dudley ended up in a boat with Malfoy and his two bodyguards. As the boats made their way across the water, he looked down into the clear lake, and was startled when he saw a massive eye look up at him.

"That's the giant squid," offered Malfoy. "Father says it's been here longer than anybody can remember, even Dumbledore."

Soon enough they all arrived at an underground harbor hidden within the cliff, and they all climbed up the stairs. At the top, they passed through a big wooden door into a chamber where a strict looking witch appeared to be trying to get the eleven year olds to line up (a task that anybody who has dealt with eleven year olds before knows to be next to impossible).

"Just line up in alphabetical order by your last names," she was saying, "that means you are at the front, Ms. Abbott." Eventually she seemed to give up, simply allowing them to mill about.

Clearing her throat, she addressed the crowd. "Welcome to Hogwarts," she said. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin," she continued. "Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours."

The woman left after saying this. There was a great deal of muttering as people reacted to the announcement, and after a few minutes, the woman returned, directing the children through a door.

The all arrived into a very large chamber, with four tables set up and a great deal of students sitting at them. At the front of the room sat a higher table, presumably for teachers. Looking up, Dudley saw a multitude of candles floating against a black sky, lit with candles.

Then, Dudley watched as the same woman from earlier placed a stool onto the raised area, in front of the teacher's table, and put a old and patchy wizard's hat on top of it. "What's that supposed to be?" he muttered.

Draco, hearing him and thinking that Dudley was asking him, responded. "Father tells me that that's the Sorting Hat. You put it on your head and it can tell what house you're supposed to be in."

Dudley didn't think that was too bad, but then he noticed the hall had gone silent as they watched the hat. Then, a rip opened like a mouth and it began to sing.

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty…" as it sang, Dudley tuned it out. He was pretty sure he was going to be in Slytherin, so there wasn't much point to listeni-

Wait.

Did the hat just say that it could read your mind?

Dudley began once again to panic. This wasn't good at all. He'd place that hat on his head, and it would know that he wasn't supposed to be here! He'd be exposed! Dudley looked around frantically, trying to figure something out, but he could find no escape. He'd have to put it on, and hope that he could convince the hat not to expose him.

By this time, the hat had finished its song, and the first of the first years was being called. Dudley watched as the hat sat upon her head, then simply yelled out "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Dudley's panic abated a bit. I seemed that the hat could only call out house names. Then he had another thought. What if the hat refused to sort him because he wasn't a wizard?

Before he had time to fully consider that, he heard "Dursley, Dudley!" being called. He walked forwards, heart hammering, feeling like he was walking towards his execution. He carefully placed the hat on his head, readying himself to bargain with the hat.

"Why, hello there. How did you get here?" He heard a slightly raspy sounding voice from within his head.

_I understand that I'm not supposed to be here, but I'd be willing to help you out or give you anything you want if you would please just not expose me._

"Well, I'm sorry to dissapoint you, but I'm not planning on exposing you," the voice seemed to chuckle. "You're possibly the most interesting thing that's happened to Hogwarts in quite some time, and that's including Harry Potter's return this year. I don't really have much to do in this school, but I'm not going to ruin something like this with what power I have."

_Oh. Well thank you then._

"Well, it's the least I can do. Now, let's figure out where you belong." Dudley felt almost as though different sections of his mind were being opened up and rummaged through. "Hmm. A bit lacking in the way of courage. Below average in loyalty and kindness. A bit clever, but lacking the drive for knowledge. As for ambition…" Dudley felt a great surge of energy run through his head. The Sorting Hat was silent for a moment.

"That… is quite some ambition." The Sorting Hat seemed somewhat taken aback. "And perfectly in the grey as well." It was silent for a few moments, almost as if contemplating something. "You know what? You're supposed to be a descendant of Slytherin, but I'm going to break the rules just this once. You've got one of the greatest ambitions I've seen in this school, one to rival that of Slytherin himself. I've had only a rare few with ambition like this, and most of them have been much too dark or much too light. Voldemort was the last, but his heart was so tainted with darkness…" The hat sounded regretful at this.

"The point is, when this school was first founded, and the four founder laid down their arms to become scholars, they entrusted their weapons to me. I was told only to give these tools to their descendants, those who would carry on the founders' legacy, and until now I have found none who could continue Slytherin's. However, I believe very strongly that, despite not being a descendant, you could carry on Salazar Slytherin's legacy and remake Slytherin House to be the proud House that it once was. STAND, BOY." This last line was said out loud and was heard by the entire Grand Hall, who had been wondering why Dudley had been under the hat for so long.

"I BESTOW UPON YOU THE STAFF OF SLYTHERIN, MARKING YOU AS THE CHAMPION OF SLYTHERIN." A collective gasp was heard from around the hall as students reacted to this news. Dudley felt something hard bump his head, and he removed the hat, grabbing the object within and pulling it out.

He found himself holding a long pole made out of pure silver. A silver snake was coiled tightly around the staff, with its head resting upon the top of the staff, and its eyes made of embedded emeralds.

The hall was silent for a few moments, then a cheer rose up from the Slytherin table. Soon, the entire table began chanting his name, and Dudley knew, for that moment at least, that this was the power that he wanted, the power to have people cheer for him, only on a much larger scale. He walked proudly to the Slytherin table, his head held high. The students at the other tables watched him with shock, awe, and in the Gryffindor table's case, anger.

Once he had sat down, Dudley was soon aware that the cheers were rapidly quieting, and he turned to see a very old looking white-bearded man, who was presumably Headmaster Dumbledore, standing at the center of the teacher table. When the whole room had quieted, he spoke.

"Today, for the first time in recorded history, Slytherin has gained a champion. In past records, there have been three Gryffindor Champions, two Hufflepuff Champions, and one Ravenclaw Champion. Yet, the Sorting Hat has never, until today, named a Slytherin Champion. It is unknown why or how these champions are named, however, we do know that all who have been named champions have displayed exemplary qualities of their house. As such, I believe that you, Dudley Dursley," he looked straight at Dudley as he said this, "are someone to keep an eye out for." The way he said this, Dudley was unable to tell if he considered this a good or bad thing. Dumbledore then sat down. "Now, let the sorting continue!"

Dudley barely heard the rest of the sorting, as he was deeply engrossed in his own thoughts. _I'm the Champion of Slytherin? What in the world does that mean? What is this staff meant to be? What was that about remaking Slytherin House to be more noble? Most importantly, does this make me more politically powerful?_ He looked up, and noticed that at some point Draco had joined him, and was sitting on his right.

"Are you alright, Dudley? You look a bit dazed." The blond haired boy looked at him, genuine concern showing on his face.

"It's just..." said Dudley. "This is just a lot to take in. I've been given this title and this staff, and I don't know what either of them means. What does a Champion even do?"

He heard a feminine voice from his other side. "I'll tell you what they don't do. They don't sit around moping about how _awful_ it is to be given loads of free power." He turned and saw another Slytherin first year, this one with blonde hair.

"Hey, I earned this staff," Dudley said, going back to his normal smirk. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk a hat into giving you something like this?"

The girl started to smile as well. "Almost as hard as sitting on a stool for several minutes, I imagine." She held her hand out to Dudley, and he shook her hand. "The name's Daphne Greengrass."

"Charmed," he said. "I'm Dudley Dursley, but I'm sure you already knew that."

"Don't get too full of yourself, champ," she said as she sat down on his other side.

Draco, though still worried, relaxed when he saw that Dudley was cheering up. _So, Dudley and Daphne huh?_ Smiling a bit, he decided to talk to Pansy, giving Dudley some space to talk to Daphne.

Soon, the final student had been sorted, ("SLYTHERIN!"), and Dumbledore stood once again.

"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts," he said. "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Vorp! Slagger! Zilcon! Tweak! Thank you!"

Dudley raised his eyebrow at this. "Is he insane?" he asked.

"Yes," said Draco flatly. "He is. I've no idea how he became Headmaster, but he is definitely insane."

"Ah," said Dudley. He was opening his mouth to follow up on this when suddenly piles of food appeared on the table in front of him. He gasped. The table was absolutely overflowing with every type of mouthwatering food, with at least twenty types of meat, hundreds of pastries, some pies, some soups, a few more outlandish dishes that he could only assume were magical, and a couple of vegetable dishes that were largely ignored. Dudley took large amounts of everything onto his plate and began to dig in.

He was reaching for seconds when the screams began, and when he turned to see what the screaming was about, he found himself face to face with a translucent white ghost.

"Augh!" Dudley cried, dropping his food.

"Oh, that's just the Bloody Baron," one of the older Slytherins said. "He looks and acts quite scarily, but he's really not that bad a guy."

The translucent ghost was still staring at Dudley. "So," he said in a deep baritone voice, "you are the Champion of Slytherin. You're a bit… wide for a Champion, aren't you?"

Dudley was furious. How dare this ghost insult his weight! However, he wisely chose to remain silent, and only turned back to his food, ignoring the ghost.

Malfoy, however, was not as controlled. "Who are _you_ to judge our champion's appearance? We all know that it isn't your appearance that matters, it's your magical power."

The Baron seemed angry at this, and turned away dismissively. "Well, I do hope that the power of Slytherin isn't squandered. After all, we have never had a champion before. It wouldn't do for our first champion ever to be subpar, now would it."

Dudley continued to ignore the Baron, but silently he realised that the ghost was right. Because he was the champion, he would be watched that much more carefully. The Headmaster had practically _ordered_ people to watch him.

Eventually, the food disappeared, and the Headmaster stood up yet again. "Ahem- just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you."

"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well. I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors. Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. Finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

Dudley thought about that for a second. The corridor was out of bounds? There must be some reason for it to be out of bounds. Maybe… maybe it had something to do with that package Hagrid had picked up for Dumbledore. He filed that thought away for later as the students began to file out of the hall. So Dudley stood and walked down into the dungeons, his belly now full of food, his mind now full of questions, and a silver staff grasped in his hand. A muggle in a strange land that was just getting stranger by the minute.

* * *

**Bonus:**

Harry watched in horror as Dudley was not only sorted into Slytherin, but even named their champion. As Harry walked up to the Sorting Hat, there was only one thing on his mind.

_Not Slytherin oh god no not Slytherin please no._

"You could be great, you kn-

_NO GOD NO NOT SLYTHERIN ANYTHING BY SLYTHERIN PLEASE GOD NO._

"Fine then, if you're going to be like that. GRYFFINDOR!"

* * *

**Bonus 2:**

He was reaching for seconds when the screams began, and when he turned to see what the screaming was about, he found himself face to face with a translucent white ghost.

"AUGH!" he cried, reflexively throwing the pie that was in his hand at it. The pie, unfortunately, simply passed through the ghost and flew across the room, eventually coming to rest on the head of a certain red headed Gryffindor. The boy stood up angrily.

"Oh, we're doing this now are we? Take this Dursley!" He grabbed a pie from his own table and flung it across the room at Dudley. Dudley simply dodged out of the way, but Draco then stood up himself.

"Oh, you want to go, Weasley?" He angrily pulled out his wand and pointed it at some of the food. Suddenly a great deal of food flung itself into the air towards the Gryffindor table. In retaliation, one of the higher year Gryffindors charmed their food to fling itself at the Slytherins as well. A few students from the other two houses, not wanting to miss out on the fun, started attacking both sides indiscriminately.

Thus began the legendary Food Fight of 1991. Tales of this battle were passed down for generations to come as one of the greatest, and delicious, inter-house battles ever to occur at Hogwarts. It resulted in eighteen students and one teacher being hospitalized, including one who had to be flooed to St. Mungos after he somehow got a whole turkey stuck up his nose. The teacher in question had gotten a pie melted into his face, and in the process of treating him, a horribly evil face was discovered on the back of his head, which was then amputated and exorcised. The food fight received a sub-chapter in the 1995 edition of "Hogwarts, a History", where it was called "The Great Battle of Hogwarts". Squib author J.K. Rowling later wrote a book about the event, which was called "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Scone". Why she chose to focus on Harry Potter is unknown, but it may have had something to do with the scone shaped scar that the boy received on his forehead from a flying pie-tin.

* * *

A/N: Another Chapter done. Thanks a great deal to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, it really motivated me to get this one done as quickly as I could. Once again, all reviews are appreciated, even somewhat critical ones.

So I've given Dudley a staff and made him Champion because really, otherwise he wouldn't be able to do much at Hogwarts. The staff doesn't let him cast magic, but it can do a couple things that will be discussed later (mostly Slytheriny things though). It's mostly used for hitting people with though.

Thanks once again for reading!

Edit Note: When I say staff, I don't mean a wizard's staff, I mean a silver pole with a snake on the end.

Nanettez: Yeah, I'm going to call artistic license on that, for reasons of "I have to ignore this or the story couldn't exist". That's also why I'm ignoring all the "anti-muggle" enchantments all over Hogwarts and Diagon Alley, and the fact that muggles can't make potions. The world of Harry Potter is _really_ muggle unfriendly.


	3. Pieces of Grey

**Chapter 3: Pieces of Grey**

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did I'd raise him to become a pro wrestler.

* * *

A few weeks had passed since the beginning of school, and Dudley was doing fine. He had quickly befriended all of the other first year Slytherins, though the grade gap prevented him from moving on to the other grades.

With his classes, he was doing alright in the more technical classes, such as History of Magic and Defence Against the Dark Arts. In both Transfiguration and Charms he mostly sat around and waved his wand a bit, though he hadn't been suspected yet, as most of the other students weren't able to do anything either. He'd probably have to figure something out soon though, as sooner or later he'd be left as the only student unable to cast even a Levitation Charm.

He was doing ridiculously well in Potions, and was already Professor Snape's favorite student. He was one of the only students that didn't have to be taught basic stirring or boiling, and as such Snape was glad to teach him some more advanced potions while everyone else was still working on the basics.

Right now, having finished all of his work (or at least the work for the classes that mattered), Dudley was sitting around the Slytherin Common Room, trying to figure out what his staff could do. He was pretty sure that the staff wouldn't be legendary if it didn't do something special, but he still hadn't figured anything out.

Nearby, Draco was still working on his Potions homework. Dudley had offered to help, since he was surprisingly good at potions, but Draco had turned down the offer.

Daphne was playing wizard's chess with Pansy, and was becoming more and more frustrated as Pansy kept advancing. She was having particular trouble with a rebellious rook who was refusing to move from its position.

Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini were collaborating on their History of Magic paper by the fire, and Millicent Bulstrode and Tracey Davis were chatting about some _girl_ thing on the couch. Dudley wasn't sure where Crabbe and Goyle were, but considering their positions as bodyguards, they couldn't be far.

"Ugh," Dudley groaned from the couch. "I can't figure this staff out at all. Are you sure there's nothing about how to use this anywhere, Daphne?"

"Yes, I'm sure," snapped Daphne, who was now trying to blackmail the rook into moving by threatening its family. "The Hogwarts Library, regretfully, doesn't have anything from before it existed."

"Hmm. What about a ghost? Are there any ghosts old enough to know about the founders?"

"Try the Bloody Baron," commented Theodore. "From what I've heard about him, he was one of the first generation of Hogwarts students."

"But he hates me," said Dudley, "Think's I'm 'too fat to be a champion' or something."

"Eh, tough then," said Theodore, shrugging.

Dudley spun the staff in his hand a bit, frustrated, before getting to his feet. "Alright, this is boring. I'm going to go see what's up with that 'forbidden corridor'. Anyone want to come with?"

Draco immediately put down his quill. "I'll go," he declared. "It'll be a welcome break from my paper anyways."

Theodore and Blaise expressed similar sentiments.

Daphne smirked. "As much fun as this chess game has been, I suppose I'll go too." As she stood, she smacked the chess board, with the rook on it, onto the floor.

Pansy frowned, then stood as well. "I may as well go, since _someone_ decided to ruin our game."

Tracey declared that she would go from the couch, but Millicent had some reservations. "Professor Dumbledore said that we'd die a painful death if we went there, and I'm not exactly happy with the thought of dying. After all, there's not much point to ambition if you're dead." The other Slytherins seemed to be rethinking their decision, but the for the most part stayed with Dudley.

"I doubt that Dumbledore would actually put anything dangerous in this school," said Draco. "He cares too much about his 'ikkle Gryffies' to put them in danger."

However, Millicent still refused to go, so they left her behind when they headed for the third floor corridor.

The group approached the door, which seemed to be simply a regular door in every way. Theodore took the lead and tried the doorknob, which refused to budge. "Locked," he said.

"Because Dumbledore would definitely leave the forbidden corridor completely unguarded, right?" said Daphne. "I'm pretty sure there's some sort of unlocking spell we could use, but we haven't learned it yet."

Draco scratched his chin, thinking. "Alright, so what if we find an older year and trick them into coming here, maybe by making it look like-" he cut himself off when he saw Dudley approaching the door.

Dudley stood square in front of the door and held the silver staff like a bat, then swung it forward and smashed off the doorknob. He kicked the door and it opened, revealing a room completely filled with darkness. "Door's open," Dudley stated.

He stepped into the dark room, looking around for some sort of light. The other Slytherins soon followed him in. Suddenly, they heard a low growl emanating from somewhere in front of them.

"Is that a dog?" asked Draco, trying to peer into the darkness. Then a gigantic set of eyes opened up, almost glowing in the darkness.

"T-that's a big dog," said Pansy nervously as she started backing towards the door.

Then, another set of eyes opened to the left of the first set, and a third set to the right. "I don't think that's a dog," said Blaise as he stared up at the giant three-headed creature that was taking form within the darkness.

The three heads growled once again, and the Slytherins started backing away towards the door. Then one of the heads lunged towards them, its teeth like knives, and the Slytherins turned tails and ran out the door in an undignified scramble.

"What the fuck was that!?" screamed Blaise, looking back to make sure that the beast couldn't follow them through the door.

The creature had its heads pressed up against the door, its teeth snapping at them. "Oh Merlin! I think that's a Cerberus!" exclaimed Draco as he scooted away from the door.

"Oh great," muttered Daphne. "Because a castle full of prepubescent wizards wasn't dangerous enough. "

"Then why the hell is there a Cerberus here?" yelled Blaise, calming down a bit as he saw that the beast couldn't get to them.

"I don't know!" responded Draco. "Who knows why Dumbledore does things like this, it doesn't make-"

"It's protecting something," said Dudley as he stood back up. "I'm not sure what it is, but it must be really valuable for Dumbledore to use something like this to guard it."

"So what do we do about it?" asked Theodore, cracking his knuckles.

"For now? Nothing." Dudley looked at the doorway again, the entrance still blocked by the monster's mouth. "None of us have what it takes to defeat that thing right now, but presumably, neither does anybody else. What we need now is a plan to incapacitate it somehow."

"What if we fed it some meat laced with a sleeping potion?" offered Daphne.

"I thought about that, but do we even know if a creature like that would be affected by a sleeping potion?" Dudley shook his head. "What we need now is information about Cerberi, weaknesses maybe."

"That half-breed groundskeeper would probably know," said Draco, "but he probably won't help us, since we're not Gryffindors." Draco's voice filled with vehemence at the last word. "This whole system is so Gryffindor-centric. Everyone seems to think that just because _one_ bad guy came out of Slytherin, that all Slytherins are evil. And this judgement follows you even once you graduate! What we need is someone to show people what being a Slytherin is really about."

Somehow, this speech seemed to stick in Dudley's mind. _Maybe this is what that hat meant when it wanted me to remake Slytherin House?_ He looked at the staff in his hand, a symbol of the responsibility he had been given. _Could this be why I've become the champion? To lead Slytherin House back to being the noble house it was before?_

Having come to a decision, Dudley gripped the staff tightly in his hand. "I can do it."

* * *

"I can't do this," muttered Dudley angrily, staring at the feather on his desk. It was because of this _stupid _feather that he was at the bottom of his Charms class, not having budged the feather even once since school started. Flitwick had tried to console him, telling him that some people are just not as good at spellwork, but Dudley knew that he'd have to come up with some solution soon, of he'd probably be held back or something.

It was all too long before the bell finally rang, and Dudley rushed out the door the minute it did, not willing to spend any more time in the Charms classroom than he needed to. At least with Transformation it was still too early on in the year for Mcgonagall to expect a successful transformation from him, but she had recently started getting suspicious when Dudley's toothpicks refused even to change color.

Dudley heard the sound of someone running to catch up with him, and didn't even turn as Draco fell into step with him. Draco, understanding that Dudley's lack of prowess in Charms was a sore point for him, wisely chose to accompany Dudley in silence to the Potions lab.

They were having another doubles period with the Gryffindors, so the Potions classroom was once again separated down the middle, Slytherins on one side and Gryffindors on the other. When they arrived, Draco bid goodbye and went off to stand by his own cauldron amongst the Slytherins. Dudley merely took an open seat near the back of the classroom as he looked around the class.

All of his Slytherin companions were present in the Slytherin half, though most of them were still at a fairly average level of potion-making skills. Turning to the Gryffindor section, Dudley noticed the telltale black hair and glasses, and quickly found his cousin talking to the redhead from the train. On the two's other side stood Hermione, who appeared to be scolding the two boys for their lack of focus. Dudley waved to Hermione from his seat, and Hermione waved back before going back to scolding the two. Dudley mentally chuckled. _Gryffindors_.

Soon Professor Snape emerged out of his back room, his dark robes sweeping around in such an exaggerated manner that Dudley suspected magic. "Greetings, students," he said, drawing out the last word into a sarcastic tone as he looked over the Gryffindors. "Today you will be preparing the Muscle Cramp potion, a potion which causes cramps in any part of the body it is splashed on. Because of this, it is imperative that you make sure not to spill any potion on you." His eyes swept over the Gryffindors once again, stopping on Neville briefly before moving on. "Follow the written instructions exactly if you do not wish to spend the night in the Hospital Wing." He then turned to Dudley in the back of the class. "Dursley, Granger, come with me."

Dudley and Hermione followed him into his back room, where three larger cauldrons were set up. "Now, you two will be learning a much more advanced potion," Snape said as he pulled a small bottle off of his shelf. "This is the Draught of Dialogue. It is a potion that allows the brewer to impart a language into it, allowing the drinker to temporarily speak that language. Since you two both know English, we will be using that as our language."

Draco and Hermione both nodded and got to work. Professor Snape was a great deal less angry when he was able to teach and perform more advanced potion techniques rather than simple basics, and it was because Dudley had suggested it that Snape had decided to create a more advanced session for the best potion brewers. While brewing the potion, Snape helped them in many ways, such as suggesting alternate methods of preparing their ingredients to get the most out of them. One thing that Dudley noticed was that Snape seemed somehow to understand the properties of the ingredients and how they combined, a mastery that Dudley hoped someday to achieve.

"What's Harry been like?" asked Dudley, trying to make small talk as the potions boiled.

Hermione thought about this for a second. "Well, I suppose Harry himself isn't that bad, but that Ron that he hangs around is just so insufferable!"

"Ron, that's the one with the red hair isn't it?" asked Dudley.

"Yes, that's him." Hermione looked absolutely furious, so Dudley decided to change the topic.

"So, do you know anything about magical creatures, Hermione?"

"Well, I know what's written in our textbooks, but not much else," admitted Hermione.

"Well, I've been trying to learn a few things about Cerberi, but I haven't found much on them," said Dudley. "I've heard that Hagrid knows quite a bit about them though, but he won't talk to me because I'm a Slytherin. Could you ask him for me?"

Hermione thought about it for a moment. "Well, I doubt someone like Hagrid would refuse to help you just because you're a Slytherin, but I'll ask him for you if you want."

"Thanks loads Hermione," said Dudley thankfully, before moving back to his potion.

By the end of the period, with help from Snape and only two explosions from the main room, both Hermione and Dudley were able to finish their Draughts of Dialogue to a level that Snape deemed satisfactory. Dudley waved goodbye to Hermione as he rejoined the other Slytherins leaving the classroom.

Draco was looking at him strangely. "Why are you waving to the mudblood, Dudley?" Draco said this in a tone that conveyed actual confusion rather than malice.

Dudley flashed a grin at Draco. "Contacts, Draco. Contacts and minions. I've convinced Hermione to ask Hagrid about Cerberi for us, since we couldn't do it ourselves."

Draco looked shocked. "Wow, I… I never thought of that before. I suppose even mudbloods could be useful, if kept on a tight enough leash."

"That's the spirit, Draco" said Dudley, patting the boy on the back.

The entire Slytherin group had soon returned to their common room, and prepared to do their work. Dudley chose to focus first on his Charms paper, since the theory part of Charms was the only thing keeping his grade afloat. As he wrote two pages about the history of the Levitation Charm, he suddenly had an idea.

"Hey Draco, do you have any spider floss left?"

* * *

Dudley prepared for yet another Charms class, but this time he had a plan. He pulled a small amount of spider floss from his pocket and attacked one end to his wand, then attached the other end to his feather as soon as Flitwick's head was turned. He then swished and flicked his wand, careful not to break the string, and then slowly lifted his wand up a bit.

"Oh my, mister Dursley! You've done it!" cried Flitwick as he saw Dudley's feather lift. "This is wonderful! I was beginning to have my doubts, but… I suppose that doesn't matter anymore." He clapped his hands jollily, and Dudley beamed before slowly lowering the feather back down onto the table.

* * *

Dudley looked down at the letter that had just been dropped into his lap. The letter was addressed to "Mr. Dudley Dursley" in long spindly handwriting, the letters shining emerald green. It had been delivered directly to the Slytherin common room by a giant black owl, bigger even than Falcon, which Dudley presumed was the Malfoy family owl.

Dudley had asked Draco to send a letter to his father earlier in the year, asking if he could meet with him. Now, just over a month into school, he had gotten a reply. Dudley carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter within, and carefully read the letter.

_Dear Mr. Dursley,_

_I have just heard of your request to converse with me, and would invite you to contact me at anytime. As both the Champion of Slytherin and my son's good friend, I would hope to maintain a friendly relationship. You may find my floo address enclosed._

_Good tidings,_

_Sir Lucius Malfoy, Head of House Malfoy, Acting Head of House Black, Head of the Department of Wizard Classification, Branch Head of the Wizengamot, Chairman of the Hogwarts Board of Governors._

Dudley chuckled a bit at the list of titles following Malfoy's name. _Either he's trying to impress me, or he just signs all his letters like that, _thought Dudley, eventually deciding that the latter was probably more likely. He looked around and noticed that everyone else in the common room had already gone to bed. Dudley grabbed a pinch of Floo Powder from the tin on top of the Slytherin fireplace, and stuck his head into the green-glowing fire while concentrating on the Floo address.

He found himself looking into a very expensive looking room. The room was very long and very tall, had walls that were uniformly dark green, and had a long carpet running down the middle of the room from the double doors on one end to a grandiose desk on the other. The room was decorated with numerous tapestries and paintings, along with quite a few emerald green couches. Dudley's head emerged out a fire that sat about halfway between the desk and the door.

At the desk sat a man who looked simply like an older version of Draco. When Dudley's head came through the fire, he heard a slight chime, which alerted the Elder Malfoy. He noticed the green tint of the fire, and stepped away from his desk, walking over to sit in a couch in front of the fireplace.

"Hello, Mister Dursley," Mr. Malfoy said calmly. "I've been expecting you."

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak with you, Sir Malfoy," returned Dudley politely. "I would like to discuss a few things about the politics of Wizarding Britain, and about you."

Mr. Malfoy looked a bit surprised at this. "So, you are interested in politics? There aren't many your age who are interested in such subjects. My own son would be one of the few though. Why do you not ask him?" asked Mr. Malfoy, a touch of genuine warmth creeping onto his still serious face as he talked about his son.

Dudley noticed this change in Mr. Malfoy's expression. "I have talked to Draco about politics, and he has been a great help in helping me to learn the basics of these politics. However, what I would like to talk to you about is the more… hidden side of politics."

Mr. Malfoy narrowed his eyes. "What do you know?" he asked cryptically.

"Well, I know that Dumbledore has an agenda, and so do you," Dudley said, smirking. "I'm not sure what either agenda is right now, but since I really don't like or trust Dumbledore, I'd like to support your side."

"Ah, I see," said Mr. Malfoy, looking visibly relieved. "Well, I certainly am glad that you chose to join the right side. After all, it wouldn't do to have the Champion of Slytherin working for the Gryffindor side, would it?"

Dudley carefully faked a practiced chuckle. "No, that it wouldn't. So tell me, what are Dumbledore and your agendas?"

Mr. Malfoy smiled a cardboard smile at him. "Right to the point, aren't we Mr. Dursley," he said with a chuckle that matched Dudley's own. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't do to not let you know. You see, Dumbledore's agenda is simple. He desires World Domination."

"That certainly is quite an agenda," said Dudley. "How do you know this, Mr. Malfoy? I doubt he would simply come out and tell you of his plans."

Mr. Malfoy made a dismissive gesture. "It is quite obvious to any who are not blinded by his mask of 'heroism'. He has taken control of all major wizarding institutions in Magical Britain, from the International Confederation of Wizards to Hogwarts itself. He even controls the Ministry of Magic through that puppet Fudge. He holds almost total political control of Magical Britain, and may soon move onto other countries." Mr. Malfoy stopped for a moment to let that sink in. "I and my allies are the only thing that prevents him from taking total control. I have been able to prevent him from taking over the Wizengamot, and my position as Chairman of the Board of Governors allows me to limit his control over Hogwarts." He said this last part proudly, as if he viewed himself as a noble hero standing against all else.

Dudley's fire-framed head nodded, obviously deep in thought. "Well then, I suppose it's a good thing I chose to side with you then," he finally said.

"That it was, Mister Dursley."

Dudley suddenly looked up. "I understand that the Wizengamot is made up of the Heads of Noble Houses, correct?"

"That is correct," Mr. Malfoy answered, wondering where Dudley could be going with this.

"The Potter House is currently without a Head, as all adult members are dead and the only surviving descendant is underage, correct?" continued Dudley.

"Yes, that is still correct," said Mr. Malfoy, beginning to understand what the boy was planning.

"Now, I am directly related, by blood even, to the only surviving member of House Potter, correct?"

Mr. Malfoy considered what he knew, that this Dursley boy was the cousin of young Harry Potter, but on his mothers side. _Wait, Harry Potter's mother was a Mudblood! Does this mean that Dursley is a Mudblood as well?_ Mr. Malfoy was troubled, but eventually came to a conclusion. _The boy is Champion of Slytherin, and Draco has befriended him. The only explanation is that Dursley is a blood descendant of Slytherin, perhaps adopted by Muggle parents or through a long line of squibs. Still, regardless the cause, there was still a problem with this plan._

"Ah, but there's a problem, Mister Dursley," said Mr. Malfoy, finishing up his long train of thought. "You see, even if you are directly related to Harry Potter, you legally have no standing in House Potter, as you are only related to someone who married in. I myself am only Acting Head of House Black because my son would become Head of House Black when he reaches adulthood." Mr. Malfoy said this all matter-of-factly, but then continued.

"There is, however, still a way that you could still join the Wizengamot. You see, as Champion of Slytherin, you have been marked as a Descendant of Slytherin. That means that you could join the Wizengamot as the Head of Slytherin, if you were an adult." Mr. Malfoy looked practically giddy at being able to get the Head of Slytherin on his side. "I'm the head of the Department of Wizard Classification, so I could get you entered as Slytherin's true heir. All you would need then is to get all of your guardians to sign a release form, declaring you a legal adult" He went over to his desk and pulled out a form from one of the cabinets, then placed the form into the fire, where it was soon removed from the other end by an unseen hand.

Dudley seemed to be looking over the form. "I could probably get my parents to sign this quite easily, but do I really need Dumbledore to sign it as well?"

Lucius nodded. "He is, unfortunately, your legal guardian as long as you remain at school. He will likely be the most difficult signature to get, but I am sure that you could figure out some way to get it signed."

Dudley nodded. "Well then, this is really all I have to talk to you about today," he said. "I really must be going as well."

"So long then, Mister Dursley," said Mr. Malfoy. Dudley's head disappeared from his fire, and it went back to its normal red-orange tint.

Lucius sat back in his couch, thinking over what he had just accomplished. _Well, I've successfully tricked the Champion of Slytherin into supporting me, and make great movements towards getting another supporter in the Wizengamot, and a powerful one at that. With this, my plans for taking control of the Wizarding Government can be pushed forwards by several years!_ _Soon the power of Darkness shall return to the world, and nobody will be able to stop it! _Lucius cackled gleefully. _That stupid old fool Dumbledore won't even see it coming._

* * *

Dumbledore sat back in his chair, wondering what he should do about Lucius Malfoy. _He is a relatively weak enemy, but a persistent one,_ thought Dumbledore. _If my plans to unite the world and establish World Peace are to ever succeed, I will have to crush him._

Dumbledore heard a knock at his door, in the specific pattern that he recognised. "Come in, Severus," he said, and the hook-nosed teacher stepped into the office, immediately sitting in the chair in front of the Headmaster's desk.

"Dursley has contacted Malfoy," Severus said flatly.

Dumbledore looked shocked for a moment. "How? When? Why?" He had hoped that Lucius wouldn't be able to get the boy on his side, but it seemed that Lucius had somehow slipped past his defences.

"The boy contacted him via Floo. Outgoing connection, Malfoy Manor, about an hour ago."

_Outgoing connection? The boy contacted Malfoy?_ Dumbledore thought about the implications of this. If Malfoy had gotten the boy onto his side, it would mean a large increase in political power for him, and would delay Dumbledore's own plans even further. It was frustrating, but not unrecoverable. "Do you know what was said during the call, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, now calmer than before.

The teacher frowned. "No, I do not. Malfoy Manor has spells warding against Floo Monitoring."

Dumbledore frowned, but realized that there was nothing he could do. "Well then, I will speak with Mister Dursley in the morning. Hopefully I'll be able to find out if Lucius converted him or not."

* * *

Dudley sat back on the couch, distinctly not converted. He smiled, looking at the form in his hands. _Well, let's see if I can figure out what I've just accomplished. I've tricked Malfoy into thinking I'm joining his side, established a connection that I can hopefully exploit for all it's worth, and set in motion plans that should get me a seat on the Wizengamot. Now I'll just have to talk to Dumbledore at some point, so that I can play his side as well._

He smirked, confident in his plans. _Those two will never know what hit them._

* * *

A/N:

Alright, so I forgot last chapter that the founder's weapons are supposed to be used by Descendants (such as Harry with Gryffindor). The chapter has been altered somewhat, at the part where the Sorting hat talks to Dudley.

In other news, the Antagonists have been introduced! I'd like to mention right now that in this fic, Dumbledore is LIGHT. Not evil light, but good light. He is a heroic Antagonist. He's trying to take over the government so that he can establish World Peace, because he believes that his taking total control is the only way to do so.

Lucius, on the other hand, is DARK. Very Dark. He wants to take over the world and get slaves and money and kill all Mudbloods and everything. Villainous Antagonist.

Dudley is Grey. He doesn't really care about World Peace or Slaves or any of that, he just wants Power. He's not a bad guy, but he's not a good guy either. He's a Neutral Protagonist (is that even a thing?).

Also, I would like to say that I am not Ron Bashing in this chapter. What Hermione said was her opinion of Ron before Halloween, which is when this chapter takes place.

Please Review, even if it's criticisms. I'm probably doing all sorts of things wrong, since this is my first story, so please tell me so that I don't make the same mistakes in my future works.


	4. Chess and War

**Chapter 4: Chess and War**

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did I'd throw him into the Forbidden Forest and let him sort himself out.

* * *

When Dudley woke up early the next morning, the first thing he saw was a bright red bird perched on his nightstand, with feathers that looked like flames. As soon as the bird noticed that he'd woken up, it flew over and dropped a slightly singed letter onto Dudley's lap, then disappeared in a flash of fire.

Dudley rubbed his eyes, then sat up. Then he rubbed his eyes again.

"What the fu-"

"That was Dumbledore's phoenix!" said Blaise from the next bed over. "What was his phoenix doing here?"

Dudley picked up the letter, which was a bit charred at the corners. "Looks like it was delivering a letter," said Dudley as he opened the letter and read it.

"What's it say?" asked Blaise after Dudley had finished.

Dudley looked troubled. "He wants to see me in his office immediately." _Could the Headmaster know about my communications last night?_ he wondered.

"Oh," said Blaise as he gave Dudley a sympathetic look. "Here, why don't you take this?" Blaise rummaged around in his bag a bit, then came up with two small bronze rings. "I got these a couple years back for my birthday. I suppose they're a bit small now, but they'll have to do. They're panic rings," he explained as he put one ring on his own pinkie finger, then tossed the other to Dudley. "If you're in trouble, you just twist the ring on your finger and my ring will warm up. Same goes for my ring."

"Thanks." said Dudley. He put the plain bronze ring on his left hand pinkie. It was a bit of a tight fit, but it worked.

He waved to Blaise as he left the dorms, then trudged through the damp corridors of the dungeon up towards the Headmaster's office. It was still fairly early in the morning, and so most of the castle was still asleep. The only creatures Dudley passed were a small troupe of ghosts that were gliding down one hall, and a pair of Ravenclaws who looked to be heading to the library. Soon enough, Dudley found himself in front of the stone gargoyle that the letter directed him to.

"Jelly Bean" he spoke, as directed by the letter. To his surprise, the gargoyle then quite calmly stood up and moved to the side before resuming its stony appearance. Behind it was a door that led to a rotating spiral staircase.

As Dudley was carried up the staircase, he thought about all the possibilities for why Dumbledore would call him to his office like this. Had Dumbledore listened in on his conversation with Mr. Malfoy last night? If so, was he calling Dudley to punish him, or to try to convert him? Maybe to interrogate him, though Dudley wasn't sure he had any useful information to give.

Before he knew it, Dudley was at the top of the stairs and looking at a large wooden door, wondering whether he should knock or not. Just as he pulled back his hand to knock, he heard a Dumbledore's voice from within. "Come in," he said, and Dudley complied, stepping into the most absolutely chaotic room he had ever seen.

* * *

Dumbledore had just sent Fawkes off to Dursley when one of his many golden devices started to chime while giving off a bright red glow. Furrowing his eyebrows, Dumbledore drew his wand and tapped the device, then held his wand up to the side of his head in a manner not dissimilar to a muggle telephone.

"What is the situation?" he immediately asked, cutting directly to the point. _If she's using level red, then there must be no time to waste._

"We've just picked up another attack," said Amelia Bones. "Targeting the Eastern Solardomes. We've detected the Third, Fifth, and Sixth squadrons, though we suspect that the Twelfth Squadron is hiding around here somewhere."

Dumbledore muttered a curse. _Lucius is really going for it this time. He isn't usually this cocky. Could this have to do with the boy?_ He looked up as a flash of fire marked the return of his Phoenix, realizing that this meant the boy had gotten the message and would be here soon. "Alright, dispatch two Elephant squads and a Guardian squad as main guards. Send in a Falcon squad as backup, and send in our best Cat squad to find the Twelfth. I have some extremely urgent business to attend to, but I will head out there with the Dog squad as soon as I can."

"Will do, sir," said Bones. Dumbledore terminated the call just in time to notice the device linked to his Gargoyled go off. _It seems the guest of honor has just arrived._ Waiting until the door proximity sensor indicated that the boy was directly outside of his door, Dumbledore said "Come in." He always enjoyed having people think of him as an all powerful wizard. It made them much more likely to go along with his plans.

Dudley Dursley entered his office and immediately stared at the many devices Dumbledore had lined along his walls. "Hello there, Mister Dursley. Please, take a seat." He gestured towards the chair in front of his desk, which Dudley sat in. Dumbledore then held out a tin of his favorite sweets to Dudley. "Would you like a lemon drop?" he asked.

"No thank you, Headmaster," Dudley replied.

"Ah, alright," Dumbledore said, a bit disappointed. He himself pulled a drop out and popped it into his mouth, then leaned back in his large chair. "You are probably wondering why I called you here, Mister Dursley." said Dumbledore. "To put is simply, I have heard that there was an outgoing communication through the Slytherin common room fireplace last night. As Champion of Slytherin, I hoped that you would know who it was."

A troubled look flashed across Dudley's face for but an instant, his expression so quickly back to its normal look that, had Dumbledore not dealt with such people before, he likely would have discounted it as a trick of the light.

"I was the one who made that call, Headmaster," Dudley finally said, much to Dumbledore's surprise. "I was calling Lucius Malfoy to try to trick him into helping me."

Dumbledore looked a bit shocked at this, but still maintained his normal cheerful expression. "Trick Lucius Malfoy into helping you? I'm not sure what business you have with Lucius Malfoy, but that man is distinctly Not Good."

Dudley moved to a distinctly false smirk. "Well, Headmaster, I have heard a bit about Wizarding Politics from my friend Draco, and he says that recently you've been suffering quite a few losses to your side. I was able to convince Mister Malfoy to have me classified as the True Descendant of Slytherin, and had him give me this form." he slid onto Dumbledore's desk an Emancipation form, with a large space where his own signature would go. "All I need is for you to sign this form, and I can join the Wizengamot. Imagine the political sway gained by having the first Slytherin seat in over a hundred years on the right side."

Dumbledore considered this. _Whether he is telling the truth or not, this boy is either very clever or very stupid, though I am likely to believe the former. I only wonder if he's genuinely for my side and playing a double agent for Lucius, or if he's working for Lucius and playing me?_ "Why should I trust you to support my side though, Mister Dursley?" he finally responded.

Dudley smiled his practiced smile. "I have my reasons. I am, after all, Harry Potter's cousin. Lucius' side has many goals which I do not support."

"Hmm." _If the boy is truly on Lucius' side, then signing the release form would give Lucius another powerful ally in the Wizengamot, but if he is actually working for my side, it would be an advantage that I simply couldn't pass up. If only I could use Legilimency on the boy. He has been avoiding making eye contact this entire meeting so far, staring at that ring on his pinkie. Does he somehow know that I am a Legilimencer? There shouldn't be anybody who knows that! Actually…_

"Mister Dursley, I would like you to look into my eyes. I will be able to tell if you are telling the truth or not." _If he truly is on my side, he would have no reason to refuse._

Dudley nodded, then looked up straight into Dumbledore's eyes.

The moment their eyes locked, Dumbledore sent a Legilimency Probe into Dudley's mind. It immediately picked up a large and very heavily guarded secret that Dudley seemed to desperately not want Dumbledore to know. He began surrounding the Mental Lock with Legilimency Sigils, then started bringing them in, rotating them to better unlock the Lock.

However, the moment Dumbledore send out his Sigils, the Dursley boy winced and put his hand to his forehead in pain, and the boy's Mental Pressure increased dramatically. Dumbledore's Legilimency Probe was almost forced out by the sudden burst of pressure, and it was all Dumbledore could do to keep his probe in, though as the pressure increased further and further, that was becoming increasingly difficult. _This boy's Mental Pressure is ridiculous! If I weren't a high level Legilimencer, I would have already been repulsed! How does a boy his age have such massive Mental Pressure, and yet still know nothing about the other Legilimency techniques?_

Doing his best to concentrate his probe, Dumbledore continued to twist the Sigils rapidly, the mental symbols spinning like pinwheels. Dumbledore was surprised that the boy hadn't used anti-Sigil seals yet, though he supposed with this much pressure they weren't all that necessary. With a final click, Dumbledore was able to crack open the Mental Lock. He quickly looked at the contents of the lock, and was so surprised that his concentration dropped, and his mental probe was shot out with such pressure that his ears rang. However, in that instant before he was forced out, he saw the one word, the word that Dudley was trying to hide from him with everything he had, the word that Dumbledore least expected to see from this Champion of Slytherin.

_Muggle._

To an outside observer, this process took less than a second. The two looked at each other, the boy winced in pain, and the Headmaster reeled slightly. It was a scene whose true significance could easily be ignored from how little appeared to happen.

When he recovered from his shock, Dumbledore became aware that the boy was calling him.

"-ster Dumbledore, are you alright?" The boy's face showed concern. "Was it supposed to hurt a bit when you did that?"

Dumbledore looked at the boy in disbelief. _Had he somehow produced so much pressure without even realising he was under attack? Could someone like this even exist? No matter, I got what I was looking for. Somehow, boy is a muggle, meaning he would never actually side with Lucius' side. I suppose that is the reason he mentioned earlier._

"I am sorry, I used a bit more force that was necessary," he lied to Dudley. "Regardless, I have confirmed that everything you told me is true." Dumbledore noticed that one of his devices on the wall behind Dudley had started spinning, and realised that he would have to finish this up quickly. "I will sign your form. The new session of the Wizengamot doesn't start until January, so I hope that you could do some research on the subject to better prepare you. I suggest talking to Percy Weasley. Here, let me give you a note." Dumbledore quickly signed the form, then wrote a note to Percy Weasley explaining the situation, or rather, the part of the situation that he needed to know. He passed both papers back to Dudley. "Now, I have some urgent business to attend to, so I am afraid you must go." He waved his hand at the door to his office, which sprang open.

Dudley nodded. "Thank you Headmaster," he said, then he exited the office.

The moment the boy was out of sight, Dumbledore waved the door shut and slumped back into his chair. _So the boy is a Muggle? If the boy is on my side, then it would be best to get him some more Light-sided friends. I suppose I could send him to meet Mister Harris. That would give the boy an opportunity to see what real magic is like as well. I'll have to send the note to Nott when I return._

Dumbledore stopped the spinning device, then tapped another with his wand. Almost immediately the other sixteen members of his Dog Squad were assembled in the office, having jumped in using the portkey that Dumbledore had given them. Addressing the collection of retired Aurors, Werewolves, Half Giants, Centaurs, recent graduates and current seventh years, all hand picked for their loyalty to himself above all, he spoke. "Madame Bones reported an attack on the Eastern Solardomes. Several squads have already been dispatched and have been defending against the attack. It's up to us to lead the counterattack." He held his wand out to the assembled others. "Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes, Dumbledore sir!" they responded, each drawing their own wand and laying it on top of Dumbledore's own. Dumbledore smiled and spoke a spell, teleporting the seventeen of them to the front lines of battle.

* * *

Dudley returned from his Defence Against the Dark Arts class feeling quite satisfied. He had managed to ace the quiz on Vampires, and was one of the only two who did so. Though the teacher for that class, Quirrell, was a bit odd, overall Dudley felt like he was learning more in that class than in many of the others, such as Transfiguration or Charms, where all Dudley learned was that he still had no magic.

He was looking forwards to tomorrow, when he would be able to check in with Hermione about what information she had gotten about the Cerberus. Currently he was preparing to have a talk with Draco, since Dudley certainly didn't trust the "politics tutor" that Dumbledore had recommended him. One look at the boy and you could see that he was completely brainwashed to the Pro-Gryffindor side.

As Dudley headed over to where Draco was sitting, Theodore suddenly rushed into the common room, looking exhausted but excited. He ran over to the part of the common room where all of the first year Slytherins gathered and presented them with what looked like a letter. "I got this… really awesome… we gotta go," he panted as he slumped onto the couch.

Blaise was the first to read the letter. "This… this is…" he handed the parchment to Dudley, who read it.

_You, Theodore Nott and friends,_

_have been invited to_

_The Hogwarts Battle Club_

_An invitation only underground fighting club/training facility_

_Come to the eighth floor, south corridor, room twelve._

_Ask for Kyle Harris._

Dudley passed the note along to Draco, who scanned the page as well. Soon all of them had read the paper.

"Kyle Harris?" started Millicent. "Isn't he that sixth year Gryffindor?"

"We've got to go!" said Theodore, who had recovered a bit. "I've heard about this club, and apparently it's pretty much the only way to learn how to properly fight. It's invitation only, so you usually have to do something notable to get invited. I assume we've been invited because of our Champion here."

Dudley shrugged. He wasn't so sure about this whole Battle Club, since he couldn't use combat magic, but it seemed like a good idea. Maybe he could use his strength to overpower them? He'd probably have to learn how to do that anyways if he wanted to succeed in the wizarding world. "Well, I'm in," he said.

"If Dudley's in, I'm in as well," said Draco. Crabbe and Goyle both grunted in agreement.

"Well, you all know I'm in," said Theodore.

Blaise shrugged. "Eh, I'll go too then. Can't let my mates go to a place like that alone, can I?"

"You can count me in!" said Tracey excitedly. "This sounds ten kinds of fun."

"Eh, why not," said Pansy offhandedly. "It certainly can't hurt to go, can it?"

"Because suddenly getting an invite from a Gryffindor isn't suspicious at all." said Daphne, sighing. "But I obviously won't change your minds. I'll go, if only to keep you all out of trouble."

Millicent found herself the last one left, and eventually sighed in defeat. "I suppose I can't let you all run off and leave me behind again. I'm in."

Dudley grinned. "Great. Now, if we're all going to go together like this, I suppose we should declare ourselves some sort of team. Maybe we should have a team name? Like… Little Slytherins, or Silver Snakes…"

"How about Champions of Slytherin?" suggested Tracey.

"Nah, we can't use that," said Theodore. "After all, Dudley's the only actual Champion here."

"No, I like it," said Dudley. "After all, no Champion can win without a team. Any objections?" He looked to his companions. Not one of them faltered. "Alright, Champions of Slytherin it is!"

* * *

The ten of them stood in the empty classroom on the Eighth floor, wondering what they were supposed to be doing. They had been standing there for a few minutes already, and nobody seemed to be coming to greet them.

"Could we have gotten the wrong room?" asked Pansy.

"No, this is definitely the right one," responded Draco, shaking his head.

"Maybe we're just supposed to ask the room?" suggested Tracey.

Dudley shrugged. "May as well give it a try at this point." He cleared his throat. "Room, we are here to meet Kyle Harris."

A chime sounded, and they heard a voice, seeming to come from all around them. "Welcome, Battle Brothers," it said. A portion of the far wall disappeared to reveal a staircase behind it. The sound of many voices casting many spells emanated from the doorway. As the ten Slytherins filed down the spiralling staircase, the sounds of magical battle got louder and louder. Soon, they were standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring into the Battle Club room.

The room was fairly large, about the size of four normal classrooms stuck together. The room's main points of interest were the assortment of raised platforms around the room, all of them with a strange purple glow rising from them. In many of these "rings" were students having duels with each other, missed spells simply fizzling when they reached the edge of the platforms. In other parts of the room were various targets and dummies, where a few groups of students were practicing their spells. Dudley grew nervous as he saw the sheer volume of spells being thrown around the room. Could he really do this?

Dudley heard someone calling his name from somewhere in the center of the room, and he looked to see an older student with spiky red hair waving to him from the center of the room. The boy walked over, accompanied by a woman about the same age with straight black hair and a boy with short cut brown hair. A fourth, another girl, but with bright pink hair, straggled behind.

"Hey there, you must be Dudley Dursley!" the boy said to him as he approached the group. "I'm Kyle Harris, and these are my friends, Claire Tanaka and Oliver Wood." The two greeted Dudley, sullenly from Claire and reluctantly from Oliver. "And _this_," he said, pushing the pink haired girl forward, "is Tonks. Just Tonks."

Tonks was glaring angrily at something behind Dudley, and he turned to see that that something was Draco.

"Malfoy." she stated, more as a statement than anything else.

"Tonks." responded Draco, equally sullenly.

The two stared at each other for a few moments before Kyle broke in, clapping his hands together. "Alright well, Mister Dursley, why don't you come with us. You don't seem the kind of chap who wants to hang around a bunch of pureblood supremacists. You can have other friends here."

Dudley narrowed his eyes at the still cheerful boy. "For your information, I already have some very good friends. I assume that they are supposed to be the 'pureblood supremacists' that you mentioned."

Kyle seemed taken aback. "Well, I suppose. If you can consider them 'friends'. Regardless, since you are all new here, why don't I assess your combat skills so that we know where to start you, alright?" He walked over to the nearest open fighting ring. "Why don't we start with you, Dudley. Come on into the ring."

Dudley hesitated for a moment, then pulled his silver staff out of his mokeskin bag as he approached the raised platform. Over the past several weeks, the strengthening potion had certainly increased his muscle mass quite a bit, but it wasn't really enough to stand out against his fat. However, Dudley was certain it would be enough to knock this guy out.

Oliver stood by the side of the ring and explained the arena. "Alright, so here's the deal. Once that platform is active, nothing can get in or out of that ring. No spells, artifacts, or even long range effects like _Accio_ will cross the barrier. The match doesn't end until one side is either unconscious or admits defeat. Other than that, the only rules are no killing, and no permanent injuries. Other than that, there's no rules to how you fight. Have fun."

The instant the bell rang, Dudley dashed forwards, already swinging the staff back in anticipation for the swing. However, before he got halfway across the arena he felt something scrape his left arm, and that entire limb went numb. Stopping, he looked up to see Kyle with his wand trained on Dudley, an amused look on his face. "Aren't you going to draw your wand, Dursley?" he asked.

"Eh, I'm not really the caster kind of guy. Terrible at the wand work," responded Dudley as he retreated slightly, trying to take in the situation. _It looks like this guy is already using stunners, and that one that grazed me put my arm to sleep._ Dudley motioned like he was preparing to dash right, then dashed left instead, trying to get close enough to get a shot. He felt his right leg go numb, and he collapsed onto the ground, still clutching the staff in one hand.

Kyle stood over Dudley, his arms crossed. "Well, I expected more from the Champion of Slytherin," he said. Dudley tried to swipe at him with his staff, but Kyle simply jumped back a bit, avoiding the blow. "Why don't you just admit defeat so we can start your training."

"I'm… not done yet" groaned Dudley from the floor. He tried to push himself up with his one functioning arm, but quickly fell back down under the pressure. He fumed.

"Fine then, I'll just have to knock you unconscious," said Kyle as he pointed his wand at Dudley again. Dudley's mind raced, but he came up blank no matter where he turned. In desperation he cried out for help mentally. _Help me!_

Time suddenly seemed to slow down, and Dudley noticed a presence contacting him telekinetically. _Why hello there_ sounded a strangely reptilian voice, resonating within his mind. *_You must be the new Champion of Slytherin.*_

_Yes, who are you?_ asked the boy, both awed and a tad impatient. Although this conversation was taking place much faster than realtime, he was still aware of the wand that very slowly was raising to point at him.

_*I am your staff,*_ responded the hissing voice. *_More specifically, the snake on top.*_

_Ah._ Dudley suddenly remembered why he had called for help. _Say, you wouldn't be able to do anything that could get me out of this situation, do you? Like, a fighting power boost or something?_

The snake seemed to be chuckling, a very strange hissing noise, especially coming from within Dudley's mind. *_No, I cannot provide any Gryffindor tricks, nor any Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw ones. I am, after all, a creature of Slytherin.*_ The snake paused for a moment._ *Are you aware of where the true strength of Slytherin House lies?*_

Dudley considered this. _I can't say I do, no. What is the true strength of Slytherin?_

_*Well,* _the snake hissed,_ *while the Gryffindors have their courage, Ravenclaws their knowledge, and Hufflepuffs their loyalty to others, Slytherins specialise in command and control. Taking power, and knowing what to do with it. In other words, Slytherins are the Leaders.*_

_So what does that mean for your abilities then? _asked Dudley.

_*You have already gathered a bit of a following, have you not?* _The voice somehow flashed an image of the other nine Slytherins._ *Why don't you have them assist you? After all, leaders aren't the fighters, but rather the ones who organise the fighters to fight. Here is what you need to do…*_

* * *

Kyle was a good person.

He knew that in his mind, and although Kyle realised that he was simply a part of someone else's game, he went along with it anyways. After all, being a part gave him the opportunity to help a lot of people, and have a lot of exciting adventures. He didn't really care about the bigger picture, as he really just did what he considered right, and what he was told by his mentor.

In other words, Kyle was the epitome of the perfect Gryffindor.

Throughout his four previous years at Hogwarts, Kyle had gone through many adventures, involving everything from Vampires to Dragons to Pygmy Shrews. Along the way he found a few Gryffindor companions to support him, a centaur mentor to teach him, and a whole load of magical combat training. However, when Kyle realized how bad the combat training at Hogwarts was, he did what seemed logical.

He started an underground fight club.

More recently, today he had visited Firenze at lunch time, and the centaur had told him about his prediction of a boy, Dudley Dursley, surrounded by venomous snakes. Firenze had bid Kyle to invite the boy to his club through Nott, and so Kyle did just that.

Once the boy had arrived, however, things had not gone as planned. When the boy walked in, Kyle noticed how nervous the boy was, surrounded by all those Slytherins, and so had offered the boy a hand of friendship. Dudley, however, had evidently still been too afraid of his companions to accept. So Kyle moved onto his next plan, helping to train Dudley so that he could properly defend himself against these Slytherins. The match had shown just how much improvement Dudley would need, but Kyle was up for the challenge, ready to do anything he needed to help the boy out.

However, once the boy had gone down, he kept trying to swipe at Kyle. "Fine then," he said. "I suppose I'll just have to knock you unconscious." They boy was determined, and Kyle liked that, but at some point the kid would have to learn to lose. So Kyle raised his wand, prepared to fire a stunning spell at Dudley.

Suddenly the boy was up, propping himself up on one leg and using his staff as a crutch. "I told you," said the kid, gritting his teeth. "I'm not done yet." He balanced himself on his one good leg, then held his staff out in front of him, horizontally. "DRACO!" he yelled, and a strange silver rune circle appeared on the ground. "DAPHNE, THEODORE, PANSY, BLAISE, TRACEY, MILLICENT, VINCENT, GREGORY." Another eight rune circles appeared, the set of nine now circling Dudley. There was a flash of light, and suddenly in place of the nine rune circles stood nine first year Slytherins with determined expressions on their faces.

Oliver, from outside the ring, was taken aback. "You… you can't do that!" he yelled. "Isn't that interference or something?"

Dudley grinned. "No rules, remember?" He turned to look at Kyle, and was shocked to see the boy grinning even more widely than before. "You aren't surprised?" he asked the fifth year cautiously.

"No, I'm plenty surprised," he responded, still grinning from ear to ear, "but I don't like to overthink things like this. All I know is that this match is looking a lot more exciting than it was before." He raised his wand into ready position. "You all ready?" he asked.

Dudley barely hesitated. "We're ready. Let's go!" The two sides jumped into action, the first of many waves of spells already flying.

* * *

It had been a long battle, and an exciting one, but in the end it turned out that even ten untrained first years couldn't beat a well trained fifth year. The others in his team had pulled all sorts of moves that he hadn't expected, like when Draco started summoning snakes left and right, or when Daphne pulled that trick with the illusionary duplicates, or when Crabbe and Goyle revealed exactly how good their teamwork was. Still, in the end it was down to him again, all the other members of his team lying unconscious around him.

"Wooh. That was quite some fun," said Kyle, looking weary but with a smile still on his face. "I haven't fought a team like that in ages. Your teamwork was great. Almost as if you all knew what each other were thinking," he said. "If you guys want to, you can train as a team. I've heard of all sorts of famous teams throughout history, and one of the most notable was the founders of this school. I take back what I said about these guys earlier, Dudley."

Dudley was surprised to hear this, but grunted a thanks anyways, too exhausted to speak.

"Well, I suppose it's time for you to admit defeat so we can get out of here then." He waited for a few moments. "You know, you don't actually need to speak the admittance of defeat. Thinking it works just fine as well." He waited a few more moments, still just watching Dudley's defiant form on the floor.

"So that's how it's going to be then, huh? Alright, have it your way." He raised his wand, pointed it at Dudley's chest, and fired off a spell.

* * *

Much later, Dudley sat at his desk, wondering what to write.

The ten of them had returned from the Battle Club a bit earlier. After they had all been brought back to consciousness, Kyle had given them a few pointers and a couple spells they could use, and had even been wonderfully polite about it. The others were still a bit reluctant to accept help from such a die-hard Gryffindor, but the begrudgingly accepted it in the end.

Now he was trying to figure out how he could convince his parents to sign off on his emancipation form. After a bit of thought, he settled for appealing to their greed.

_Dear Dad and Mom,_

_I've gotten this form that I need you to sign. If you sign it I'll be able to make loads of money, and I'll share it with you._

_Sincerely,_

_Your son Dudley_

He stuffed the form and letter into an envelope, and gave it to Falcon, who then took flight out the window. Suddenly he heard Draco's voice within his head, delivered there through Dudley's staff.

_*Hey Dudley, Blaise gave you a panic ring, didn't he?*_ Draco communicated from upstairs.

_*He did yeah,*_ responded Dudley, rubbing the ring on his pinkie finger.

_*Well, I was thinking, why don't we all get a ring sort of like that, but better. With like, something that can tell who activated the ring, and where they are. After all, us Champions of Slytherin have to stick together.*_

Dudley considered this. *_Well, where would we get something like that?* _he asked.

Here Blaise piped up. *_I know a couple guys who I'm sure could rig something like that up. The only issue is cost, and Draco says he can cover that.*_

_*Then I suppose that's a good idea then. Why don't we get them as soon as we can.*_

_*Can do, boss.*_ responded Blaise, giving a mental salute.

Dudley smiled. Today had been a big day for him, and a lot had happened, but the best thing, he decided, was the creation of his new team. _We are the Champions of Slytherin,_ he realised. _And nothing can break us apart._

* * *

A/N:

The staff's powers REVEALED! (Or at least, part of them.)

Basically, the staff lets Dudley create sort of a team/group/army with himself at the head. This team thing has a bunch of mechanics that I'm not going to reveal yet, but let's just say that all the people thus far are considered part of the group's "Inner Circle". Telepathic connection between members, teleportation to their leader, maybe some other stuff in the future.

Also yes, the war between Dumbledore and Lucius takes place not just in the Wizengamot, but also through all sorts of less than legal operations, though Dumbledore tends to lean on the side of the law.

Kyle is technically an OC, and with his heroics he would probably fall well into Mary Sue territory. Good thing he's not a protagonist!

Please review. Reviews are like caffeine to me, in that they make me write faster. And I _NEED_ that caffeine.

Next Chapter: Probably Halloween


End file.
